i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize