Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
