i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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