So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
