You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
