Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize