If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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