shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
