Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
