Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
