You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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