i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
