sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
