So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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