I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
