I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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