it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
