sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
