just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
