what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
