Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
