Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
you made out with another girl for some wings
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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