There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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