Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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