Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
