He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
