Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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