Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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