His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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