my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I cut my penus on the lid.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
