Soap is not a condiment
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
