Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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