she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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