I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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