OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He felt like a one man threesome
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
