found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
