The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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