Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
