just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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