i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
