he wants to bone in the snuggie
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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