Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize