john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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