You smell like stripper and shame
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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