See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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