The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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