so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
