Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
