If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
honey bunches of taint.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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