It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
