I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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