I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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