Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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