i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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