Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
