I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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