Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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