My nipple is on Facebook.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
