It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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