accomplished twins. life is a go
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
